Story: My First Love

I was sitting at the first row in the Physics Tuition class. This was evening batch of forty students with both girls & boys almost equal in numbers. Lecturer created a curve on the board & turned towards the class. ‘Who will explain this graph to me? Anjali, You tell me.’
I whispered to my friend Dev, my best friend & schoolmate too, ‘Sir has gone mad, there is no student in the class with this name’.

‘Shhhhsss, three new girls were transferred from morning batch, seems there were not good looking guys in the morning batch.’ He said. I also smiled in affirmative like we all were supermodels studying in evening batch.

Anjali stood from the second last row & could manage only few words ‘Sorry Sir, I don’t know’. She instantly became red seeing everyone was gazing at her. Girls’ looks were like ‘What?? You don’t even know this?’ but guys were not that cruel, they were sympathetically seeing her or I should say admiring the beauty. But they were not to blame.
It had been three months since I joined this tuition classes & there was not a single good-looking girl in the batch. Guys used to say that all beauty queens came in morning batch. They were proved right when I saw Anjali. She was tall, fair, pretty & far better than the other girls in the batch. She had shoulder length hairs that she never tied. I liked her sharp features & those beautiful big eyes on her oval face. The face was a bit red at the moment but even then she was looking very cute.

Then suddenly a piece of chalk flied & crashed on my head. ‘Mr. Prajapat’
It also crashed my thought process and I realized that I was the only one left who was still staring at her. All eyes were now at me. ‘Prajapat will explain this graph to us.’ Lecturer declared.
I stood. ‘Shit’ I thought, ‘How could I forget this?’ I very well knew what that curve on board was about but the straight curve of my blank mind did not allow me to think anything. Lecturer was upset; as I was his favorite student but then it was first time my heartbeats were generating exponential graph.

That day onwards I lost my concentration in studies but was well focused on Anjali. I forced Dev to change our seats to the last row so that I could see her wherever she would sit in the room. I had all the counts how many times her hand ran in her hair or number of times she changed the pens of different color that she used while taking notes. Of course Dev was not happy with changed behavior of mine. He started giving me lectures on ‘How chasing a girl can make you a failure in your board exams’ which fell flat on my deaf like ears.

It had been two weeks since the first incidence & everyone in the batch knew what I was up to. Probably Anjali also came to know by this time. She started noticing me what all I was doing during classes. I was afraid to imagine how she would react now. To my surprise she started passing me smiles whenever our eyes met. This made me crazy & I was too disturbed to focus on anything anywhere, be it tuition classes, school classes or at home. Days & nights I was dreaming about her & life came to halt.

One day after tuition when we were returning home Dev said, ‘You will ruin your board exams, half yearly exams are round the corner & you haven’t finished syllabus of any subject yet. Buddy, you should stop thinking about her or the better solution is to propose her.’

‘No. I can’t.’
‘Why?’
‘If she refuses?’
‘That will be great. At least you would be back to your track’
‘No, I don’t want to come on track’ I murmured.
‘You have to. See tuitions are getting over in a month, and then you will not be able to see her anyways.’

My heart sank; he hit that at right place. His words got stuck in my mind. The whole night I could not sleep. Next day in school I told Dev that I was ready to propose her but we need to figure a way how we would do it.

We both scratched our heads for next three days but could not come up with any such good idea. By then idea of proposing her occupied my mind so badly that I started proposing her in different styles in my imaginations.

Fifth day Dev came up with a plan.

‘Tomorrow we will run from class before her as soon as class would be over. We will hide ourselves somewhere in her way to home & you will give her a letter in which you can write your feelings about her.’

I gave him a disgusting look ‘So this is your idea?’

‘I know the idea is old but it works, haven’t you seen in movies? Love letters always work’

With no other choice I reluctantly agreed to that idea.

Next day we left from the class as planned, rode on our bicycles & reached at the place we already identified on the way. We hide ourselves near to a hanuman ji’s temple. We both were breathing faster but my heartbeats were running like train engine.

Ten minutes later I saw her coming. Luckily she was alone & slowly riding on her cycle. As she came nearer my heart paced at a speed I felt that it would burst today.

‘Let’s run from here, I can’t do this,’ I said.
‘Why?’
‘That I don’t know but I can’t’
‘No, you have to do it today. Remember if you don’t act now you will never see her’

Again, same attack at same target. She was not very far now. I gathered all my courage, prayed to hanuman ji & moved towards her.

She was on the other side of the road; I took out the letter from my pocket, thought one last time & moved forward to cross the road. I was in the middle of the road when I saw Sharma uncle across the road. Sharma uncle was our neighbor & very irritating person. Every time he saw me, he would ask hundreds of questions related to my studies & my future plans. He had a son who was studying in 5th standard; he wanted to make him an engineer. He used to go to hanuman temple every Tuesday & unfortunately it was Tuesday.

I did not want to waste that moment discussing my future plans while my future was going away on the cycle. So I pretended like I had not seen him & instead of going straight I changed my direction to walk diagonally towards right so I landed approximately ten meters away from him. I took a deep breath & did not look back at Sharma uncle. Since Anjali was coming from the same direction so I could not see her either.

I rehearsed my dialogues one more time & prepared myself to be ready for the encounter. I guessed she was close enough & I was ready to call her as she would pass by. She did but before I could call her name, I heard my name from behind ‘Sanju Beta’ I turned, Sharma uncle was waving hands & I was rubbing my hands to give him a big blow.

‘How come you are here at this time, Beta?’
‘Uncle, I was coming from tuitions, today is Tuesday so I thought of taking blessings from the temple.’ I was helplessly looking her going away.

‘Very good, very good beta, you should come here every Tuesday.’

‘Surely, Next time I will come here when it wouldn’t be Tuesday’ I thought.

Next half an hour he asked same boring questions about how his son should study to bring good marks in board exams in future & to get admission in engineering college. And how I should setup my future goals & work hard to achieve them. I thought if he was not there I would definitely have achieved my goal today itself. I gave a frustrated look at Dev who was even more frustrated because he thought that the game would be over today but I was still hanging in.

We dropped the idea of giving letter on the road because it involved a lot of risk. First, any known person could catch us like it happened that day. Secondly, if the idea backfired & she shouted then many unknown people around would come to rescue her from two devils.

Another week passed. We were still finding a way to give her the letter.

Next day I got another chance. The class was over & she had stayed back to ask some questions to lecturer. I waited outside to finish her discussion. Dev was also with me. Being a true friend, he was very concern about my condition so he wanted to finish this drama off as soon as possible. After 15-20 minutes she walked out of the class & moved towards her cycle. There was nobody around so it was a golden chance. Dev pinched me to go to her & give the letter. I put my hand in the pocket to get the letter. To my surprise, the letter, which I was carrying for last one week, was not there in my pocket.

‘Oh Shit. Is that with you?’ I asked Dev.

‘What?’

‘The letter’

‘It was with you only. Check properly. You Moron’ He shouted.

‘No, it’s not in my pocket.’ I searched my bag as well but could not find that.

‘You idiot. Where have you lost it? Remember, we are screwed if some one gets a hand on it.’

‘OK. We will figure that later. For now, no need of any letter. Go and say directly to her.’ Dev said

‘No, I can’t…..I can’t say that. Why don’t you understand?’
‘Go, I say’ and he pushed me so hard that I almost bumped into her cycle.

First time I was looking her from so close. And all those dialogues that I mugged up lost somewhere in her eyes. I wanted to speak all my heart out but could not say a single word. I was just staring at her with my mouth open.

‘Stupid!!’ She said & left from the place.

Another fiasco. Dev was pissed off with that.

Later I found that the letter was left in my pant’s pocket, which I was wearing a day before. Luckily mummy did not check the pocket before putting the pant in the washing machine & my first love letter was washed out by Surf excel.

It was month of October & Diwali vacation was going to start. Tuitions were getting over in next two days. I went to Dev & said that it was last & final chance to fix that all. He agreed again & suggested ‘This is diwali time & you can give her a greeting card. We will not write anything stupid but just the diwali wishes on it. If she accepts that means she is interested in you. How about that?’

I agreed instantly so we both went to the market that evening after class & I took three hours to find a green color greeting card. I bought a new green ink pen to write something on it. I requested Dev to write because his handwriting was readable.

He wrote in big letters ‘Happy Diwali to You.’

‘That’s it? How would she know my feelings?’

‘Dude, I told you, we would not write any such thing’

‘No, at least write something so she can figure out that she is special for me & it’s a special card not an ordinary one.’

So he wrote in big letters ‘Especially for you!!’ on the blank page on the left side of the card.

‘That is enough. Happy now?’ he said.

I folded the card, carefully put it in the envelope & kept in the bag.

The whole night I could not sleep in excitement. I was eagerly waiting for the next day evening. That was the longest night of my life. I got up in the middle of the night, switched on the lights, opened my bag and took out the card, kept in my hand for some time & then put that back in the bag. This cycle continued till morning.

Next morning before leaving for school, I checked my bag to ensure that the card was there since I didn’t want to repeat the same mistake again.

School’s classes were always boring but that day was extra boring. I was never delighted as much before as I was that day after hearing the final bell at 4 PM. We both reached to Tija café to kill one hour we had before leaving for tuition classes. Those sixty minutes seemed like more than sixty days at the same café where we used to spend hours & hours without even realizing that. I was becoming restless now & forced Dev to start for tuitions fifteen minutes before the usual time.

That was our last day & we reached a bit early. Not much students were there that time. We had to wait outside because Sir was teaching another batch inside. More students started coming & they also stood outside. Everyone seemed happier because the tuitions were getting over unlike me who was sad for the same reason. They were exchanging diwali wishes & greeting cards. I checked again in my bag, the card was there. Dev tapped on my shoulder & said ‘Don’t be so impatient, she would definitely come. She always comes just before the tuition starts & you know that very well’.

‘Yeah.’ I nodded but deep inside I knew ‘if she doesn’t come today, probably I would never meet her again’

Ten minutes later, every one from the previous batch was out from the class & our batch started moving in. I couldn’t move an inch; my eyes were still fixed at the end of the street looking for her. ‘Don’t worry; Lets go in the class. She might come late today.’ Dev had said twice & third time he dragged me in.

I was sitting at the last row & searching in the room if I could see her anywhere. But I knew she was not there. My heart was beating low now. I was hearing lecturer’s voice but could not understand anything out of it. I was repeatedly looking at my watch & the door, hoping she would enter anytime. After sometime, a dark shadow appeared in front of my eyes & I could see nothing. A moment later those shadows disappeared & I saw Anjali. She was wearing white dress & looking like an angel. I was seeing the most beautiful girl in the world. She was smiling, waving her hands like asking me to follow her. She was calling my name & I started walking behind her

‘Sanju!!…. Sanju!!…. Sanju!!’

Suddenly, I felt a pain in my arm; I had fallen on the floor. I opened my eyes & she got disappeared. It was Dev who was calling my name. Lecturer & other students were standing around me. Every eye was looking at me but I was looking for those two eyes that had brought me to that miserable state & was looking for the face, that had become part of my dreams but dreams can’t always be true.

Three days later….

I was sitting with Anjali at Tija café.

‘See, how much pain I took for you?’ I said after telling her the complete story right from the first day I saw her.

‘You are so cute. Why were you so afraid of me? Mr. Sanjay Prajapat, you should thank to your friend. This was Dev who came to my school the next day of your collapse in the tuition class. The poor chap waited for one hour outside my school just to meet me. He told me everything & also gave your phone number.’

‘And he lied to me about having a bad stomach & not attended the school that day.’ Now my mind started tying up the loose ends. He was such a true friend.

‘I have something to show you.’ She put her hand in the purse & took out an envelope.
I was shocked as I saw the green color greeting card in her hand. ‘Oh God!! This is with you. Dev told me that he had destroyed the card because it would remind me of you.’

‘No, it will always remind me of your stupidity.’

And we both burst into laughter. I thanked Dev from the deepest corner of my heart.

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